Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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