how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
