Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
