The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
