a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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