Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you had me at cake vodka
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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