How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
