Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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