so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
