I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize