You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
