I'm going to jail i love you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
