How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
