Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
