pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You are a genius and a whore.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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