So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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