i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize