Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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