Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
