Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Never underestimate the power of titties
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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