He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
