would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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