I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
