That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize