I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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