Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
