he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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