I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
