what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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