just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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