Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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