Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
