He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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