ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
