I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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