Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We smell like vodka and hangover
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