love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
