I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i barfeds in our rink
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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