We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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