I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
