He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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