Moan for me like Helen Keller
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
There r osticjed everywhere
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
