What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i believe in u and ur pee
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