He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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