I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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