i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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