I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
