Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
