well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
