How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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