My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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