The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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