all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
