Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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