she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
