He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
