I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
