My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize