so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
