Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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